Regardless of how you identify—whether it be as lesbian, bisexual , asexual , another term , or nothing at all—how you choose to label yourself is not based on a checklist. But then in high school, I met this girl and we started dating secretly. After that, there was no going back, and I eventually came out. Being with her was worth the scariness of coming out to my parents. But up until the end of high school, I was always interested in guys—and even dated a guy my senior year. I told everyone I was probably going to marry him and he was totally the one.

Some months ago a young woman came to see me who had just turned 18 — and had been questioning her sexual orientation for years. She had been attracted to girls since she was at high school, but she had had sex with both girls and boys. She now believed she preferred girls, but how could she be a lesbian when she had also slept with boys?

Back to Sexual health. It's normal to feel attracted to both girls and boys when you're growing up. Find out about coming out, safer sex, and how to deal with bullying if it happens to you.